On most days, i find myself with a heightened sense of feeling lost. I take long walks hoping to find serenity in my jumbled thoughts and roaring emotions. Its a tedious task to try and understand everything that had happened. And an even more daunting challenge is to get to know the person i have become.

Every so often, a feel a rush of livid anger coursing through my being. And in that moment i curse everything my mind happens upon: God, life, fate, destiny, my faith, my own incapability to have known.... and of course i curse that one person. i claw desperately through my being for answers. I often think i shouldn't be here... that i do not deserve any of this. But really, there isnt much that i can do to change the past or to prevent things from happening.

A few months ago i knew who i was and where i was going. i even knew how to get there...well, not really, BUT i did not mind not knowing how. i just knew things will work out well and that had been enough for me. What i'm trying to say is that i was happy and now... im not. i am instead lost